Mother’s Day was a difficult day for me.
My mother has Alzheimers.
She still knows me and answered when I said, “Momma,” but moments later she looked at the card I’d gotten her and was confused as to why she was opening a card from me that said ‘Momma’ on it.
When I hug her she looks at me with eyes wide and says, “I think you’re still growing. I don’t remember you being this tall.”
I’ve been six feet tall since I was sixteen.
While we ate lunch she asked me three times in a row if I was going to eat any cheesecake and three times I said no.
And when she looked at the scrapbook my daughters and I made her, full of pictures of her and my father with their grandchildren over the years, I couldn’t bear to watch because I knew she didn’t remember a single one of those moments.
So…yesterday wasn’t that great for me. I’m thankful I had another Mother’s Day to share with her but saying it is difficult isn’t sufficient. There aren’t enough words to even begin to describe what it’s like to look at the woman who spent her life taking care of and loving you and realize she is forgetting you little by little.
I wanted to write this post last night but I just wasn’t up to it. To be honest, I’m hardly up to it now, but I wanted to tell everyone out there to appreciate the time you have with your mother.
Take lots of pictures with her, spend as much time as you can with her, appreciate her sacrifices and always, always… tell her you love her.