Don’t Be A Social Networking Bully

It’s pretty simple. Least you’d think it’d be.
Social Networks are NOT made to dis other writers/authors/bloggers/people. 
They aren’t made for you to announce how right you are and what a fool everyone else is by making examples of said fools.
I don’t care how many gazillion followers you have, or how many times you call yourself an ‘expert’, or the fact that your name is on a BOOK.
What do I care about? What makes me follow you? What will make me promote you as an author? What will make me suggest your book to my friends????
Being . A. Decent. Person.
Yesterday I witnessed 3 different social entities (ones I didn’t even know, but still) get picked out of thousands and used as examples of “What Not To Do.” I won’t go into detail about these people or the person who called them out because – huh…look at that – I’m being nice.
And in all honesty? I wanted to smack myself because on first pass I didn’t even notice the slam put on these people. I even gushed about the post. 
But the more I thought about it, the more it ate at me even though it had nothing to do with me and I didn’t even know these people. 
(I’ll always root for the underdog…just so you know).
It bothered me. Obviously – I am blogging about it – but the reason it made me so annoyed was simply this:
You can say what you gotta say without slamming other people. 
There are faces behind all those blogs and Twitter handles. Real LIVE people who are working just as hard as you to build a social platform and network to simply give their hard work a little support.
So just be freaking nice. It’s not that hard.
Share your opinion ALL DAY LONG. Shout it from the rooftops. I will admire your spirit.
But the moment you get too high on your horse and start belittling people who don’t necessarily follow you and all your advice, you can count me out.
That’s one less person willing to go the extra mile for you, and if I’m correct, there will be others whom you alienate with your bullying as well.
So…my rant for the day is over…
Stay humble and JUST BE NICE.

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  1. I feel the same way. I see a lot of slamming these days and can't figure out why. As you said, there are REAL LIVE people behind the profiles. Just play nice!

  2. I missed whatever thing you're writing about – or saw it and it went clean over over my head.

    Sometimes, though (not saying it applies in these cases) people need a little slamming. If you've asked politely and that didn't work.

    Other times, somebody makes a point, perhaps a valid one, and everyone dogpiles on. Not cool.

  3. I apparently didn't read what you read, but now that I think about it, I can think of plenty of personal slamming I've read in "top things not to do" articles and post. You are so right about the real live people who are the recipients of these slams. There are enough ways to make a valid point without belittling another person.

    Thank you for visiting my blog & for your kind words. I was happy to blog about your upcoming Q&A with Martha Alderson. I cannot wait.

  4. I try not to slam people. But reading this makes me wonder, did I? There have been times, like when reviewing a book, I've gone and given my two cents about it and looking back, maybe I wasn't very nice.
    When I write a blog about what not to do and I give examples, I certainly do not name the book or author I'm speaking of. I just give my examples and leave it at that.
    I suppose maybe I will have to try to be nicer. I'm honest and that comes across as harsh. And its funny, I lost one follower this week. Just one. Now I wonder what I did. 🙁

  5. @Beverly Diehl I guess in this case the people didn't solicit advice from the person pointing them out as having made mistakes. They were just randomly chosen as examples for the whole world to see…sort of like "Look at him. Don't do what he's doing. It's stupid." And it may well be, but who gives us the right to say so? We all have different writing paths, ya know? What's good for one isn't necessarily good for all.

  6. @Melissa Sugar Hey Melissa Sugar Gold…that is such an awesome name 🙂 Articles and posts on what not to do don't bother me as long as they don't say…Ten Writing Sins and Ten People Who Commit Them. Writer/bloggers give advice all the time. I do it here. I realize what works for me will likely not work for someone else but I post about things in hopes that if someone DOES have the same issues, seeing how I overcame it might help. It's when other innocent bystanders get pulled into the mess because a writer/blogger needs an example that I don't agree with. Thanks for the comment honey! And Martha…next week…Woohoo!

  7. @Caledonia Lass Hey Caledonia! This post was not directed at you 🙂 Opinions and reviews are one thing. To openly call out other bloggers, Twitterers ? 🙂 or writers just for the sake of making them an example for a blog post is another. It would be like me pointing you out in a post because I disagreed with the way you blog or maybe I didn't like the title of your blog…whatever. We all have opinions, but I think there is a line between issuing an objective opinion and one that hurts. The people yesterday were just names pulled out of thin air but the post made them seem inept. The author of the post most likely was just careless, but the fact remains that people got offended and we as writers need support…not to alienate people. It just griped me…like I said…I don't like to see people picked on. I always try to imagine the shoe on the other foot 🙂

  8. This is true, Charissa. I don't feel like you were "outing" me, you post just made me stop and think, "Was I snarky in my last post or on FaceBook or even Twitter for that matter?". This is exactly what your post intended and you did get the message across. 😀
    I know this post wasn't directed at me, but thank you for making me stop and think. I don't like to bash other authors or writers or bloggers, etc. I don't like to see other people bashing either. So excellent post!