But for now,
it’s a bitch I’m not a fan.
Am I lacking? YES.
This was not always the case.
When I first picked up writing again about four years ago, my confidence was high. Not that I thought I was the best writer ever, or that I was even good, but I knew I could LEARN. Storytelling came naturally, but writing is not storytelling. It’s SHOWING. It’s a CRAFT. But I knew I could do it.
I also wasn’t concerned with selling. I wanted to write for ME. Getting pubbed was definitely a thought, but not within reach at that point and I was well aware. I had a loooong way to go before I was ready for the whole query process and that was okay. I’m a firm believer in doing things the right way and querying before I was ready was NOT THE RIGHT WAY.
I read horror stories about over-confident writers querying too early. I also knew that THINKING you’re good and actually BEING good were two different things. And honestly…no one wants to be a Mary Roach, the poor girl. (If you don’t know who Mary Roach is, you must watch this video to the very end).
That being said, do I think I’m a good writer? Yes.
But can I do better? YES.
Which is the issue. (For me and I’m sure many other writers). Because where is the line? How long do we work to ‘get better’ before we query?
If you wait until you feel like what you’ve written is good enough, you might never send that baby off into the real world.
This is true.
And…a lack of confidence can make you doubt not only your ability, but your story as well.
When I started this WIP, I felt ready. Ready to write a novel, shine it up and query. My actual writing skills had improved by leaps and bounds over the years. I looked like this when I began:
Did anybody even read that stuff anymore?? Would any agent even be remotely interested in attempting to sell a story like this?? Was the market already saturated and CHOKED TO DEATH on faeries and druids and ancient Kings??
I wanted to kick myself and possibly entertained the idea of burning my laptop.
At some point, we all have to gain enough confidence to polish an MS and actually QUERY. That point and the road to get there is different for every writer. And the thing about being good enough? I bet very few writers ever feel good enough. I bet that most still have a few doubts about every book they have sitting on the shelves.
I’m sure I’ll make it over this hill, but for now it’s a long haul.
How about you?? Are you confident or not? How do you deal with self-doubt?